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Join Extra Deeply

I lately gave a keynote speech entitled “Join Extra Deeply” on the Hope International Forum in Atlanta, Georgia hosted by a non-profit known as Operation Hope. U.S Secretary of Treasury Jack Lew, Chelsea Clinton and Andrew Young, considered one of Dr. Martin Luther King’s, Jr.’s lieutenants within the civil rights motion, had been a number of of the esteemed audio system.

Although I’ve given over 1,000 speeches or workshops in my speaking career, this speech was different. The visceral response caught me off guard. I had a woman literally apologize to me after my speech because she felt a few of her colleagues have been disrespecting me as a result of they weren’t totally listening to my message. I’ve hooked up my edited speech transcript right here. May it aid you connect more deeply with one person today. You aren’t alone.

All of us attend conferences for various causes. A few of us come to listen to the headlining speakers. Others perhaps want to get away for a few days. Most of us, however, want to connect with somebody you wish to study from, work with or work for. Tonight I’ll share three issues we will all do to attach extra deeply with one another.

Before I share these three things, I first want to address the two essential the reason why we do not join extra deeply. It is as a result of we’re over-stimulated and hyper-related. The wrongdoer, the reason, the cause is this magical device called a smartphone.

How many of us have this morning routine
Before we may even step out of our mattress and even open each eyes, we roll over to the facet, decide up our smartphones and start checking our textual content messages, emails, tweets and Facebook likes and comments. All throughout our day, from when we leave our home, to when we go to work, then lunch, then again to work, and eventually again residence, we’re continuously checking our smartphones all all through the day.

An Android app company named Locklet surveyed 150,000 users and found that the average user checked their phone 110 occasions through the day. Their excessive frequency customers, nonetheless, checked their telephone 900 occasions. [Audible gasps from the viewers.] If there are a median of sixteen waking hours which means these “excessive frequency users” checked their telephones nearly 60 occasions per minute!

We aren’t social media beings; we’re human beings. We’re not LinkedIn beings; we’re human beings. And as a lot as Mark Zuckerberg needs us to be Fb beings; we’re human beings.

Human beings connect more deeply by sharing tales with one another.
That’s the first lesson I’ll share with you.

Lesson 1: Share Your Story
Learn to share your story in a strong, passionate and poignant means. Maybe probably the most inspiring story of all time is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He left such an indelible mark on my life that I named my firm KGL after him and two other visionaries. KGL stands for King, Gandhi, and Bruce Lee. I hold their ideals up every single day to remind myself of what to try towards with my shoppers, colleagues, and everybody I meet.

The rationale why his story is inspiring is because we can see our own story in his life.
The first time I ever visited Atlanta was in April of 2000. I did not know on the time that Atlanta is the place Dr. King was born. I had an opportunity to go to his house on Auburn Avenue, walked over to Ebenezer Baptist Church the place he was a pastor, and finally ended up at the King Center the place his tomb rests on top of a stone island in this stunning reflection pool.

As I stood there in entrance of Dr. King’s tomb, I learn his epitaph, “Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. 1929 – 1968 ‘Free finally. Free ultimately. Thank God Almighty I am Free ultimately.'” I felt such a deep connection at that second as a result of just six weeks prior I had quit my day job at American Specific the place I labored at forty Wall Road. I had put my residence up on the market and I used to be leaving my household and mates behind in New York City to move to California the place like Dr. King, I too had a dream. I wanted to be a published author, speaker, entrepreneur and singer-songwriter. I had a lot worry and doubt and insecurity. I used to be so afraid however, one way or the other, standing in entrance of Dr. King’s presence gave me such strength, conviction and power. I was determined to succeed.

On May 6, 2000, I received on a plane and flew to San Francisco. Nine months later, I had completed and revealed my first guide, a school success information. A yr later, I moved right down to Los Angeles to be a singer-songwriter while simultaneously building my business as a speaker and consultant.

Eight years later in 2008, I had a chance to return again to the South however this time to Tennessee. I knew that Dr. King met his bodily demise in Memphis, Tennessee. So although I used to be in Nashville, Tennessee co-writing a tune, I determined to drive the 218 miles by myself to see The King. I wasn’t going to go to Elvis Presley’s Graceland, I used to be going to go to the Lorraine Motel the place Dr. King met his physical demise and i also wanted to visit the Charles Mason Temple Church where Dr. King gave his last speech entitled “I’ve been to the Mountaintop” the day earlier than he handed away.

Once i arrived on the church at 2:30pm within the afternoon, the parking lot was not solely closed, nevertheless it was gated shut, with a chain and pad lot, including a security guard sitting in her car inside the parking lot. I walked up to the gate and called out to the safety guard. “Hello, I am out of city and that i simply drove three hours to get right here. Is that this the church the place Dr. King gave his last speech before he died ” The security guard looked confused and uncertain. So she took out her phone and called someone to ask. Moments later she stated, “Sorry, this is not the church.”

I could not imagine her phrases. I am nearly optimistic I had researched the suitable church and since I had simply pushed 218 miles to see this church I used to be perplexed.

As I walked away from her, I determined to stroll alongside the facet of the church to the entrance entrance. At one level, I regarded up in conjunction with the church wall and noticed a huge plague that learn, “This edifice is the site of the last tackle of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.”

I had discovered the precise place. The safety guard simply did not know.
In 2000, I had a dream and that i stood at Dr. King’s tombstone not understanding how my path would prove. Then by 2008, I used to be residing my dream once i visited Memphis, Tennessee and once i sat within the sanctuary on the Charles Mason Temple Church I had an opportunity to thank and join with Dr. King once more.

Now eight years later, sixteen years after coming right here for the primary time, I’m right here talking to you all. Goals are potential. Goals are real. You can stay your goals.

The primary lesson to attach extra deeply is to share your private and skilled story.
Lesson 2: Pay attention Extra Deeply
The second lesson I want to share is about listening. The Chinese have a fantastic language. The Chinese language character for pay attention has 5 distinct elements. On the left hand facet, it is the character for ears. However on the proper hand facet, it’s broken up into four characters which individually mean “you”, “eyes”, “one”, and “heart.” When you pay attention, you ought to be specializing in one particular person and you are not simply listening together with your ears. You’re also listening with your eyes but most importantly with your heart.

Pay attention together with your coronary heart.
Lesson three: Discover the most typical Denominators
The final lesson I’ll share is about simple math. When we add two fractions together like 1/2 and 1/3 you can’t add them together unless you find the most common denominator. On this case, 6 is the most typical denominator. As soon as we discover a typical denominator, we will add 1/2 and 1/3 together to equal 5/6.

Why do we as a people focus on our differences and expect us to get along I simply flew into Atlanta just a few hours in the past after attending an occasion on the White Home. Sitting subsequent to me throughout my flight was a lady named Carrell. If I focused on our differences there would be many: Carrell was white and I am Asian. Carrell green stone island gilet is from the South and i live in California. Carrell is a lady and I’m a man. Carrell is a retired psychologist and has been married thrice. I’m nonetheless working and have by no means been married.

As an alternative of focusing on all these differences, we shared so much in common. We both loved to travel, help people, and share tales. She spoke about her journey to Italy final yr and I discussed how I used to be flying to Atlanta to provide a keynote speech. We had such an important conversation because even though we had so many seemingly outward differences, we selected to give attention to our widespread denominators.

I would like to finish with one ultimate story. Once i attended the Clinton Global Initiative Annual Meeting last year in New York, former President Bill Clinton had a closing plenary session where he interviewed a NASA astronaut named Cady Coleman whereas concurrently green stone island gilet Skype calling two astronauts – one American and one Russian – on the Worldwide House Station. When President Clinton requested Coleman about her expertise in space, she simply said, “In space, when you’re looking down there are no countries. It’s one place and we’re all from there.”

To summarize, in order for you to attach extra deeply, give attention to sharing your private story in a powerful and memorable way. Listen not just with your ears but with your eyes and most significantly together with your coronary heart. And lastly, give attention to discovering the most typical denominators when you want to connect with someone.

Garment-Dyed Membrana Light Jacket In AquaFinally, please turn this off extra [holding up my smartphone] throughout the Island day.
Thank you.
Christopher Kai is founder and CEO of KGL, a strategic-consulting agency that helps c-level executives and gross sales professionals with private branding, disruptive advertising and marketing, and business development strategies. He is a corporate speaker, consultant, and creator.

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